Hi everyone! Whoever you are! Well good news my hair is growing! It was so short! Its not looking good and its as dry as a bone from what that hairdresser did to me on purpose - coz its me before I realised I was a famous disgusting public enemy and I thought it was safe to go about the community as usual, but in actual fact EVERYONE knows who I am and are trying to destroy me!! Anyway its growing and I'm growing it out and trying to grow it back, longer! So I am feeling more like my old self, I only wish it wasn't all different lengths, I'm a bit angry at the hairdressers because it took me all my courage to trust them (as I just don't TRUST hairdressers after so many disasters in the past! So They said that they cut the hair with the thought of it growing back, OH MY GOD! NO THEY DONT! My hair looks like WORZEL GUMMAGE! Honestly its all over the place like a raggedly mop! But it is growing so by the summer I'll be all girly and flouncy and summery again! I'm growing it!! Well web design!! I got my website quickly up, but actually I'm nowhere near what I want to achieve! i want to learn all the professional tools, so I've GOT LOADS TO LEARN!! I notice there are opportunities out there for web designers and I honestly want to get back into the working world - I get lonely being a recluse! I'm not ready yet, but I know I will be ready eventually. So I'm trying to get myself to a standard where I might be able to be employed, the only problem is no referees and no experience!! I was very CRUELLY sacked from my previous jobs, and it was UNFAIR dismissal, I certainly didn't deserve the way I was treated, but it leaves me in a seriously bad position, unable to get a reference. This is my problem. The fact that I want to work makes no difference. I wonder if I can make my skills count! Surely if I learn all this software then my skills are gonna be OUTSTANDING! Then perhaps I can get employed. Eventually I'd like to go back to work and set my self up as a normal working person!! I only wish someone would give me that chance. I was very badly treated in my previous jobs and very low-paid and forced to do menial tasks like cleaning toilets and showers and things like that!! I must say I am pretty much afraid of working now after being treated so badly for very low wages (anyone would be). I wonder if my faith in the world will ever return! Otherwise it'll mean continuing sex work or setting my own business, which isn't easy considering I have no idea how to do such a thing!! Well all I can do is focus on the task in hand which is learning this software INSIDE OUT!! It'll put me in a very good position for the future if I do!! I really feel thats its time I get into a relationship, time is ticking on and I'm still single! I've been single for a very long time and I am totally sick of it! My biological clock is ticking...I wonder if this year things may make a big turn around for me as far as work and relationships go!! I HOPE SO!!! x Fingers crossed. One things for sure its tough and lonely alone and I do hurt lots inside, each day I wonder how the hell my family could do what they did to me. What evil psychological depths they went down in all the tortuous games they played. My Mum wanted me dead, I know this, so now she lives as if that happened. That was her hope. Such vile, dark, twisted cruelty. I wonder how I have managed to carry on so strong and brave alone. I still have hope that I can build my life. FINGERS CROSSED I CAN. x